EPISODE 72; EXCERPT (L)
“And what could this so crucial thing be?” She asked with an eye roll. “I still have enough time to live and make new memories by the way. Isn’t that interesting?” she added and giggled but her smiles were just on the lips.
An act she decided to put up just in order to hide how she really feels away from him.
‘His pity is not something we need’ her mind had said and she accepted it willingly cause she felt with the way he loves her if she shows sadness that it will break him apart and make him blame himself for everything. And someone blaming himself for her mistake is not something she wants or desires so it was just the nice thing to do.
“Violet! Violet!” He wailed waving a hand in her face and she shivered as her body and soul returned from her world of thoughts and imaginations giving her space to live the current life she’s still in. “I’ve been explaining things to you. And I wanted to be sure you were paying attention. Hope you were.”
She slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry buddy. Like deeply sorry but you will have to go over everything you earlier said cause I didn’t grab even a single word. I zoned off. Sorry.”
“Thinking about your life?” He asked doing his best to hold back his tears that were also doing their very best to overwhelm him.
“I got no reason to think about my life buddy. I’m perfectly fine just like you are. You don’t need to get emotional or even the least pity me cause I’m fine. Yes, I’m fine.”
While she kept convincing herself that she’s fine tears unknown to her trickled down her cheeks in waves. It took her several minutes before she realized that she was crying. “Don’t mind my tears” she laughed and wiped them off but just as she removed her hands more trickled down. “What’s wrong with you tears!” She shrieked and wiped them off but yet instead of stopping it intensified.
Michael shook his head and strolled to her. He crouched down beside her and pulled her into a soothing embrace. “It’s ok to cry, baby. I know you are trying to put up this happy attitude so that I won’t be sad but in as much as you can get your body to act how you want you can’t alter the soul. It’s so ok to cry. Crying doesn’t make us weaklings but it shows that we are strong cause we accepted our fate willingly. And don’t think putting up such pretense can make me seize from being sad. Nothing can.”
Hearing those words from him broke her remaining built-up walls and the tears came rolling down her cheeks like a great downpour. Her eyes turned so red and her heart clenched as she let it all out on him.
“I never knew it would get to this. All I ever wanted was to get this thing out of me. I didn’t do it cause I got no money. Of course not. I got the money. As a matter of fact, I got so much money. I’m a fucking millionaire. I only did it cause the dude responsible has someone else in his life. Someone I know he will end up with someday. We were never even an item so I obviously don’t have a chance with him even if I wanted him. Moreover, I’m not someone who likes trouble. I…,” she coughed out blowing in hiccups as sobs upon sobs tore out of her throat leaving her quivering in his arms.
The sight as she feared broke Michael apart and all he did was curse himself for leaving her the moments he did. All he did was curse himself for not having a solution for her. All he did was eat himself up. “I’m the fault of it all! Yes, I am!” He unknowingly wailed out to her hearing and she instantly stopped crying and stared at him.
“Don’t do that buddy! Like, don’t fucking do that! Were you there when I opened my legs to a total stranger and got fucked? No! Were you there when I found out I was pregnant? No! Did you know that I went ahead with the abortion? No! So how are you at fault? How! Tell me!”Text © by N0ve/lDrama.Org.
“I…,”
“Shut up! No one else is at fault for what is happening to me right now apart from me. I caused it all and please I’m begging you in the name of Jah to allow me to carry my burden alone. Allow me to eat up myself. You were and are not at fault! To be honest you are the real hero! Who knows what would’ve happened if you didn’t pick me up that day. Who knows?”
“But if I was close to you before that day you did what you did I would have…,”
“You would have what!” She barked interrupting him once again.
She wiped off her tears, wiped off his, and breathed in and out. “Enough of this emotional shit, please. Tell me the things you said earlier. Now is not the time for tears but plans. A minute, please. Make sure to be ready to talk before I come back.”
She climbed down from the bed, strolled into her bathroom, and came back almost immediately looking a little bit better than she initially was apart from the fact that her eyes were still puffy and red. She got to him and gave him a slight smile before climbing back into the bed straight into his open arms.
“I hope you are ready to talk now,” she said, slipped her hands into his, and started fiddling with his fingers.
“We would have been way past this conversation by now if you didn’t zone off. Now I’ll have to go over all I had already said again” he whined like a teen and she pinched him playfully earning a glare from him.
“Are you telling me what I want to know Mr. Michael or should I lie down and sleep?”