Guilty
“What?” Jamal yelled.
“Sultan, the janissaries sent words that they’ve thought about a solution.” A man’s voice answered.
How had he forgotten about the threat to his sultanate? He should be looking for a solution to his predicament right now. He felt Roksolana push at him and he let go of her.
“Sultan?” The man called again.
He had to finish his talks with her though.
“I’m busy. Get lost,” Jamal yelled at the man.
He turned to look at Roksolana and saw that she had dressed up and was trying to escape from the room without his notice. He held her firmly by the hand, preventing her from leaving. He watched as Roksolana looked down, feeling shy of him. Her sudden scream threw Jamal off balance and he looked at her, he saw her staring at his manhood with round eyes and realized that it must have been her first time seeing a penis. Not wanting to frighten her, Jamal let go of her, looked around for his trouser, and promptly put it on. The loud click of the door alerted him that Roksolana had run away while he dressed up. Jamal ran to the door, but couldn’t find her. He turned back to the guards standing like statues by the door.
“Where is she?” He asked them.
“She ran off, Sultan.” One of them replied to him.
“And you didn’t stop her? Incompetent fools,” Jamal said to them.
He watched as the two of them knelt instantly, but ignored them. His first thought was to run after her. Deciding against that, he went into the house and banged the door close.
He needed to think about his next moves. He also needed to think about how to get his land out of a possible war. He also needed to check on Lady Miriam. Jamal sat down perplexed. How had he forgotten about Lady Miriam? Even though it was only her monthly time, she had seemed like she was in a lot of pain. Jamal wondered if Roksolana usually felt such pains too during her monthly time. He shook his head as he realized that he was thinking about her again.
Roksolana ran all the way back to the kitchen, looking back to make sure the Sultan wasn’t after her. Every time she stood still, the image of the Sultan’s manhood appeared in front of her. True, the women from her tribe had told her about the male body but she hadn’t been prepared for the seeing. Besides, they hadn’t warned her that it was that big and long. If anything, Roksolana had imagined it as a tiny something just put into a woman’s body to make children by the way they explained. But what she saw a few minutes ago was not tiny.
She screamed as a hand clasped itself on her arm. The person drew her into their embrace and she relaxed as she felt the familiar scent of Asleem. Roksolana freed herself from his embrace gently when Asleem didn’t let go of her after about five minutes. She shifted from one foot to the other as she felt Asleem scrutinizing her. As he tried to hold her hand, Roksolana moved out of his reach.
“Running away from me now? Don’t forget we were supposed to be married,” Asleem told her.
Roksolana looked at him and saw anger flashed in his eyes. She wondered if he was angry with her over something before. She thought hard about it but couldn’t remember doing something wrong to him. She looked at him again and saw that the anger still shone in his eyes. She felt afraid of him at that moment and stepped back a bit away from him before replying to him.
“But Abu didn’t officially announce our marriage before he…” Roksolana stopped, unable to finish the sentence.
Guilt flooded her. How could she have gotten intimate with the man who had killed her family? How could she have let him touch her a few minutes ago with the same hands he had killed her family with? The same hands he had destroyed her sultanate with.
How could she have moaned for his touch with the same mouth she has mourned her family with? How could she have forgotten about her revenge for her family? How had she forgotten about the blood of her people which flowed like a river because of him? How could she have forgotten about the suffering of her people because of this same man? How could she have thought for a minute that she and the Sultan might have something meaningful together? She thought as tears ran down her cheeks.
“That’s right, my lady. That man killed your family. How could you get involved with him? And don’t forget that we might still get married when we get back to our sultanate,” Asleem said.
Roksolana let Asleem play on her guilt until she became filled with hatred for the Sultan, reminding her of the cruel man who had made them suffer and brought them here as slaves.
When she was done weeping, Asleem gave her an item of tied clothing he had held on to since he came. Roksolana opened it to find a pair of neatly folded black tops and trousers lying in the bag. A black cap rested on the clothing. Besides the cap was a small sword. This was it. This was the perfect clamor flag she needed to get in and out of the Sultan’s house without being spotted. She fingered the dress with sadness in her heart.
“Do you need me to come with you?” Asleem asked.
“No. I have to do this on my own.” She told him.
“When you are done, come to the dock. Everyone will be ready and waiting for you there. If in three hours you aren’t there, I’ll assume that you’ve been caught and come back for you,” Asleem told her.
Roksolana nodded her head to acknowledge his words, before walking away. She wondered how Asleem had known that she had been with the Sultan without her mentioning it? Was he having her followed? And what had he meant when he said they might get married? She pondered about it, but couldn’t get an answer.
When she got into the room, she saw that everyone was already fast asleep, except for Sofiat who was weeping softly. Roksolana dropped her luggage on her pallet and walked over to the other woman. The woman looked at Roksolana standing, then she looked away and resumed her crying. Roksolana’s first thought was to leave, after all, she had her own battles to fight and the woman had been nothing but rude and cruel to her ever since she arrived. But she found that she couldn’t leave the woman alone, so she sat opposite Sofiat and held her hands.
“What happened?” Roksolana asked gently.
“He acted as if he couldn’t recognize me. I know we weren’t supposed to make contact in public but he has never acted so cold towards me before.” The woman explained.
“Who?” Roksolana asked.
“Sodeeq.” The woman said, wailing loudly.
Sodeeq? What was the relationship between the two? And why couldn’t they acknowledge each other outside? Roksolana couldn’t understand what the woman was saying, but she felt her pain, so she patted her hands lightly. Sofiat calmed down after a while and smiled shyly at Roksolana.
“I’m sorry about that.” She told Roksolana.
“It’s okay,” Roksolana told her, patting her hands.
They talked for a little while longer before they both went to their separate beds, at each end of the room. When Roksolana was sure that Sofiat was fast asleep, she got up and changed into her new outfit. She bonded her hair into a ponytail before covering it with the black cap.© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.
As she picked up the small sword, she looked around to make sure none of the people sleeping had woken up and watched her. When she was sure that no one was watching her, she opened the window and climbed down from it.