Forbidden Desire

I was crying so hard that I was sobbing, my tears blurring my vision as I struggled to contain the tumult of emotions swirling within me. When he looked into my eyes, his expression softened, as if he had been disarmed by the rawness of my anguish. He seemed to realize that my refusal stemmed not from a lack of desire for him, but from a deeper understanding of the circumstances.

Jason’s features contorted with a mix of hurt and confusion as he whispered, his voice tinged with vulnerability, “Are you rejecting me too?” His eyes, clouded with tears, mirrored the pain etched on his face as he reluctantly disentangled himself from me, sinking to his knees on the bed.

As I rose to meet him, mirroring his posture, I gently countered, “No, my love, I just don’t want it to be like this. You’re not yourself right now. You’re intoxicated and angry, and I refuse to let our first time together be tainted by such turmoil.”

“You’re denying me like Jinhee…” His voice trailed off, his gaze wandering around the room in a haze of desolation. I cupped his tear-streaked face in my hands, coaxing him to meet my gaze, my heart aching at the sight of his anguish. As tears welled up in his eyes, I enveloped him in a tender embrace, allowing my own tears to fall freely.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, his voice laden with remorse, as he returned my embrace, seeking solace in the warmth of our shared embrace.

“I know, my love,” I whispered softly, my words a balm to his wounded spirit.

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked with emotion, his tears dampening my shoulder as he sought forgiveness.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

“It’s alright,” I reassured him, my fingers tenderly tracing the contours of his face, wiping away his tears.

“It’s going to be okay,” I murmured, trying to infuse a note of reassurance into the air thick with regret and sorrow.

“I’m so tired of everything,” he confessed wearily, his exhaustion palpable in his voice.

“You need to get some sleep,” I suggested gently, “I’ll put some clothes on, and we’ll rest together, alright?”

He nodded silently, wiping away the remnants of his tears, as I extricated myself from our embrace to retrieve fresh clothing from the closet. As I moved about the room, a sense of protectiveness washed over me, a fervent desire to shield him from further pain and turmoil.

I emerged from the closet, donned in a nightgown, and made sure to secure the door, mindful of the need for privacy. Meanwhile, Jason shed his jeans, clad only in his undergarments, a reminder of his vulnerability in the wake of our emotional upheaval. Despite the turmoil, I couldn’t help but admire the contours of his physique, marred by the scars of past wounds inflicted by others.

Climbing into bed beside him, I met his pleading gaze with a reassuring smile, as he reached out his hand to me. Our lips met in a fervent kiss, laden with unspoken apologies and silent promises. Entwined in each other’s arms, we succumbed to the embrace of sleep, our exhaustion eclipsing the tumult of the night’s events.

As dawn broke, a knock on the door roused me from slumber, and I groggily attempted to orient myself to the present. Sensing a weight on my body, I glanced down to find Jason nestled against me, his features relaxed in the tranquility of sleep.

“Jane, are you alright? Did you oversleep?” came the concerned voice of my aunt from beyond the door, her presence a reminder of the outside world encroaching upon our sanctuary.

Fumbling for coherence, I checked the bedside clock to find that morning had already slipped past, the hour growing late. “Jason!” I called out softly, but he remained ensconced in sleep, oblivious to the passage of time.

“Jason, it’s already ten o’clock,” I urged, gently shaking him from his slumber, eliciting a mumbled response from his lips.

Finally stirring, he blinked groggily, his gaze clouded with confusion as he struggled to grasp the unfolding reality. “Ji? You called me Ji?” he queried, his disheveled appearance belying his bewilderment.

“Jane?” he attempted to rise, only to be assailed by a wave of dizziness and discomfort. “What a horrible headache! What happened?” he groaned, his words a poignant reminder of his fragmented recollection of the night’s events.

The realization pierced through me like a dagger, his mistaken identity a painful reminder of his lingering attachment to Jinhee. Tears welled up anew, cascading down my cheeks, as the bitter truth threatened to overwhelm me.

“Get out of here!” The words escaped my lips before I could staunch their flow, my voice choked with emotion as I hurled his clothes towards him, a silent indictment of his unwitting betrayal.

Confusion clouded his features as he stared at me, his expression a jumble of disbelief and hurt. With a heavy heart, I fled the room, seeking refuge in the solace of solitude.

Locking myself in the bathroom, I crumbled to the floor, the weight of despair pressing down upon me as I grappled with the sting of rejection. Drenched in tears, I berated myself for ever entertaining the notion of his affections, a fool grasping at illusions of love.

Summoning every ounce of strength, I washed away the evidence of my anguish, the icy tendrils of water offering a fleeting respite from the searing ache within. Donning my uniform, I braced myself to face the world outside, steeling my resolve against the tempest of emotions raging within.

Avoiding the bedroom, I made my way to the kitchen, where my aunt was busying herself with preparations for the day ahead. Together, we ventured into the dining room, where Jinhee sat ensconced in an air of nonchalance, her demeanor a stark contrast to the tumult of emotions roiling beneath the surface.

“Have any of you seen my husband?” she inquired casually, her tone laced with a venomous edge that betrayed the veneer of composure.

Silence greeted her query, punctuated only by the clatter of dishes and the weight of unspoken truths hanging heavy in the air. Sensing the tension, my aunt ventured a tentative response, her voice tinged with caution.

“No, Mrs. Park, did Mr. Park not return home last night?” she ventured, her words laden with an undercurrent of concern.

The facade of indifference crumbled ever so slightly, a flicker of uncertainty crossing Jinhee’s features as she grappled with the implications of his absence. “No, he must have been out gallivanting with some harlot,” she spat, her disdain palpable in the air.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Park, but from what I know of Mr. Park, he doesn’t strike me as the type,” my aunt interjected, her words a subtle rebuke to Jinhee’s unfounded accusations.

Jinhee’s gaze narrowed, her eyes boring into mine with a mixture of contempt and scorn. “Not everything is as it seems, Jane,” she remarked pointedly, her words laden with insinuation.

My resolve wavered under the weight of her scrutiny, her accusations a stark reminder of the precariousness of my position in their tumultuous dynamic.

Unfazed by her provocations, my aunt deftly changed the subject, steering the conversation towards more innocuous matters. “Mrs. Amelia, would you be so kind as to prepare some pancakes for me?” she requested, her tone a deliberate attempt to diffuse the tension lingering in the air.

“Of course, I’ll be right back. Come along, Jane,” my aunt beckoned, extending an invitation that I was all too eager to accept.

“No! She stays,” Jinhee interjected, her voice laced with a thinly veiled menace that sent a shiver down my spine.

Struggling to maintain my composure, I stood my ground, refusing to cower in the face of her intimidation. Yet, before I could formulate a response, Jason’s voice thundered through the room, commanding attention with its authority.

“You don’t give orders anymore! What are you still doing here, you wretched woman?” his voice echoed with a vehemence that left no room for doubt.

Jinhee recoiled at the force of his words, her facade of bravado crumbling under the weight of his condemnation. As Jason advanced towards her, his demeanor a stark contrast to the tender lover I had known, a sense of foreboding gripped me, the realization dawning that our world was unraveling before my very eyes.

“Jason, please, let’s talk alone,” Jinhee pleaded, her voice tinged with desperation as she sought refuge from his wrath.

“No! You stay,” Jason retorted, his voice a steely resolve as he asserted his authority over her.

With a mixture of trepidation and defiance, Jinhee clung to him, her protests falling on deaf ears as he dragged her towards the door. “No, Jason, please don’t cast me aside! Forgive me, I beg of you! I have nowhere else to turn!” she implored, her cries echoing through the room.

“You should have thought of that before betraying me with your lover!” Jason’s words cut through the air like a knife, his contempt palpable in the air.

As Jinhee’s pleas grew more desperate, my aunt approached her with outstretched arms, a gesture of compassion in the face of her torment. Yet, Jinhee rebuffed her advances, her pride wounded by the indignity of her downfall.

“Leave me be! Get out of here!” she spat, her words a venomous rebuke to my aunt’s attempted kindness.

Sensing the futility of further intervention, my aunt motioned for me to follow her, a silent acknowledgement of the futility of our presence in the face of such tumultuous upheaval. As we made our way towards the door, Jinhee’s anguished cries reverberated through the room, a haunting reminder of the fragility of human relationships in the face of betrayal and deceit.

“Don’t think this is over, Jane. Mark my words, Jason will come crawling back to me,” my aunt whispered, her words a sobering reminder of the storm clouds gathering on the horizon.