Forced by fate – Destined to be his Wife

“Say something.” YuZhi softened his tone and begged her. Waiting for a reaction, expecting a massive one and yet there was only quiet and a soft sniff.

“Tell TangShi I’m sorry. For everything. I used her to stay close to you and keep tabs on your relationship because I knew I didn’t have you. I hoped by being her friend I could police her and stop you two getting close, because deep down I always knew you didn’t love me.” She broke into quiet cries but held herself composed. Finally being honest with herself after a lifetime of ignoring the signs.

“Rhea…” YuZhi broke in, torn up by her pain, aching in deep regret, but she cut him off.

“Don’t. I always knew and I was in denial. I pushed you and held onto you and have never really felt secure or happy. Always aware I needed to control you to keep a hold of you and it’s made me tired from fighting so hard. You were right when you said I always manipulated you and threatened because I did. It’s not how love should be. I’ve done a lot of thinking while being here and having so much down time. All this time, I was gripping onto something with all my effort and yet it never brought me the happiness I thought it would. I see that now. Time away, being able to look from a distance…… I know we should never have dated. We should always have been nothing more than friends. It was circumstances and tragedy that brought us together and I abused your dependency on me as a friend to guilt you into being my boyfriend, I can admit that. Thank you for the years that you did make me feel some kind of joy from being yours and for trying to love me. I did love you, YuZhi. I’m sorry too.” She sniffed again, through a waterfall of quiet tears yet her heart was expanding as though she had unchained a long held weight that was tugging it down. A ray of light filtering into her darkness.

“Rhea, I don’t know what to say.” YuZhi stared down at his feet, his own eyes misting over because this hurt and yet gave him a sense of freedom that she wasn’t reacting how he thought she would.

“Say that one day we can be friends again. That we can put everything behind us and maybe I can start over with TangShi and make amends. I hated the fact she’s a genuinely nice girl, and likeable, but I hope one day I might be a real friend to her.” Rhea swallowed hard exhaling heavily and letting out all the nerves and fear she had been holding onto while making this call. Trembling all over from adrenalin at psyching herself up. “I don’t want to be like this anymore. Always obsessing and anxious over you. That’s not love and it’s not the relationship I wanted. I’m not mad, I’m sad, but I feel like I need to let you go to find what will make me happy. I want you to be happy too.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry how things went and how I handled all of it. I know I did a lot of things wrong, and I treated you in a way you didn’t deserve. That was down to my inadequacy in how to navigate all of this. I hope that in time we can meet again and start over as friends once more.” YuZhi knew he had major responsibility in all of this and should carry the emotional burden of hurting her. He owed her so much and yet felt like he now was casting her aside.

TangShi kept her eyes on her paper, hearing only half a conversation but her heart thumped erratically, and she tensed, trying to gauge what was being said. Summarizing from what she could hear that Rhea was not going crazy over this and yet it didn’t ease her own sense of shame. Rhea maybe hadn’t been a real friend, but TangShi had viewed her as one and still done this to her.

“I’d like that. I might make it back for the engagement after all. I swear I won’t cause a scene. I won’t be drinking. I’ve booked myself into a program to help me deal with my life without alcohol, and it’s a step. I know I don’t have a drinking problem, so don’t worry it’s not rehab or anything. I just feel like I have unhealthy coping mechanisms and used it more than I should.”

“I’ll support you if you need me.” YuZhi sighed, deflated at her admission to needing to get help. He didn’t think she drunk excessively before but after the breakup it had concerned him how often she drunk and got drunk given her self-control before he married TangShi. She had undergone a personality transplant and her behavior had become erratic, straying into her public life. He sensed a real honesty now in this conversation and wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe before the party I can see TangShi Briefly. I really want to prove I’m sorry. I know what I did. I may not be overly happy that you two ….. but this isn’t on her. I don’t want bad feeling and hatred between us.” Rhea choked up, unable to get her head and heart around them together yet and try as she might she couldn’t hold back the tears. Moving the phone away from her mouth so she could wipe her face on her sleeve and try and calm herself with deep breaths. This hurt a lot, but it also felt empowering.

“We’ll see. Take some time and we’ll talk again before you come back. I don’t want a public scene. I promise I won’t dodge your calls if you need me.”

“Okay. I should go. I’m a mess and ……. Tell her I’m really sorry. I don’t hate her, and I regret telling her I wished she would die. It’s not who I am.”

They both knew that was true. It had shocked him to the core that night.

“I will. Have a safe trip. Bye, Rhea.” YuZhi hung up first, feeling there was nothing more to say and aware TangShi was probably uptight with wondering what was said. Eager to reassure her. He could sense the genuine remorse, but he needed to safeguard TangShi above all. Rhea had twice assaulted her, and he wouldn’t let there be a third.

“Hey, come here.” He motioned to her, and she didn’t hesitate in dropping her book and running over to him by the window into his open arms. She had been sitting tense and poised on tenterhooks waiting for him to end his call. He caught her and cuddled her in tight, sliding his hand onto the back of her hair, the other across her back and cradling her against him as her arms slid around his waist. Swaying them from side to side slightly as though comforting a child. Squeezing her in a tight embrace.

“Rhea wants to sort things out with you two. Start over. It’s up to you whether you can forgive or trust her again and I believe her when she says she won’t cause any more issues.” YuZhi knew it would be better for all of them if they could lay it all aside and get on. Even if Rhea was never the close friend again she once was, he wouldn’t turn his back on her if she ever needed his help. “I won’t force you. I know there’s history here and you might never be okay with her around us again.”

“I’ll see her.” TangShi butted in, without stopping to think it through She had never been one to hold a grudge and she had too forgiving a personality. She knew the only way forward was to accept her and try to rebuild something. Rhea had been his friend his whole life and she didn’t want to be the reason he stopped that.

“Let’s talk about it later. I’ll order food and we can sleep on it today. Focus on us, forget everything else for one day.” YuZhi leaned back, sliding his hand around her face to tilt up her chin and kissed her softly. Lingering to stay close and rubbing his nose against hers. “Whatever you decide, I’m with you and I’ll do what you need me to. You’re my priority.” He kissed her again, smiling at how even after kissing her a dozen times she still give him butterflies and goosebumps.

“Okay.” TangShi beamed, smiling without restraint and kissing him herself this time, only more passionately than he did. Bold enough to now do it without waiting. She wanted today to stay special seeing as it was officially day one and bringing Rhea into it would only cause a blemish.

“After food, let’s go out take a walk along the Bund if the rain stops and have a date. A real one. Re-inact a kiss on my car.” He winked and leaned down to nuzzle her neck, sliding her up to him in a vice like grip so he could devour her and then regretted it right away as his body reacted and the urge to do more overtook him. TangShi giggled at his antics, her own hormones notching up with his touchy-feely behavior and she shyly took the initiative. Longing for more of what he had shown her this morning.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

Sliding her hands into his as he put her down, she pulled him with her as she walked backwards and smiled coyly. Reddening and unable to look him in the eye but obvious with her intent.

“I’m hungry for something other than food first.” She blushed, but he understood right away and grinned at her. Loving how sweetly she could make an invitation to get naked and dirty sound.

“What have I created?” he laughed, lurching forward to scoop her up princess fashion and carried her to their bedroom with a skip in his step. Unable to deny her when his own needs were going crazy to have her again.