Rest
Lilly.
I walked back into my apartment feeling lonely and sad. Although Kyle was gone and my main door was secured, I did not feel happy. Instead, I felt empty and mentally exhausted. I regretted the time I had wasted trying to make a doomed relationship work. From the beginning, it had been clear that Kyle was not the one for me. I had tried to force things because I was afraid of loneliness and that backfired. In the end, it only made my life worse. Now I was going to be scared of Kyle forever. His last words to me had not been very reassuring. Had it not been for the presence of that amazing couple, Kyle may have done some unspeakable things to me.
I slumped onto the couch and leaned against the headrest. Immediately, tears started rolling down my eyes. I did not even bother to wipe them because I was too weak. I just stared forward and let them role. They made me feel somehow better. I felt like my heart was being cleansed as I cried.
For about thirty minutes, I was lost in thought while tears continued to cascade down my cheeks. I was a mess and somehow I found certain peace in that. But eventually, I decided I was tired of crying and lamenting. I could feel better, and that only depended on me choosing that.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
When I thought of having a good time, I thought of Jake Rylland. There was a part of me that wanted to believe his story. That part of me desperately wanted to listen to him and then make judgements later.
Maybe it was time to hear him out. I needed to meet him. Even if he wanted to use me, I was ready to be used, as long as I got something in return. I had let Kyle, a self-centred moron use me, how bad could it be this time.
Although I did not trust Jake, I had never felt any real fear near him. He didn’t look or speak like someone who would force themselves on a woman. He didn’t scare me. That was what I needed. A sweet, hot man to kiss me the way Jake had done.
I craved a kiss with him. It had felt so good last time. That was all I needed. A good feeling. After preparing myself for the possibility of disappointment, I decided to unblock and dial his number. He picked up promptly.
“Lilly,” he said.
I was lost for words. At the sound of his raspy voice, my heart beat ran wild and butterflies filled my stomach.
“Are you there?” he asked.
“Hi Jake,” I began. “I hope you’re well.”
“I wasn’t but now that you’ve called me, I think I’m the happiest man in the world.”
I laughed. “You’re so good at flattery,” I commented.
“No, no, my dear. I had almost given up on ever hearing from you again. I’m very glad that you called me. I’ve missed you.”
“Such a liar,” I said although a part of me was inclined to believe him. Inner me desperately hoped it was true.
“You will never trust me, will you?”
“How can I trust you when you’re always lying?”
“That’s not true. I don’t know why you view yourself like you don’t deserve anything good.”
I knew I deserved good things, but I knew that over expectation is the mother of disappointment.
“Why would you think that you’re a good thing?”
“Because I know I am, or you wouldn’t be calling me right now.”
“I can end this call and block you.”
“But you won’t because you want me so bad.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re way too arrogant for your own good.”
“So, do you believe me now? About Ashley Kendall.”
“No, but I’d like to hear your excuse, that’s’ why I called.”
“Let me take you to dinner.”
“And experience a repeat of last time? No thanks.”
“Come to my house,” I said, scanning my disorganised living room. There were things strewn all over the place. Kyle Munther was an even messier person than I was.
“If I remember correctly, your mother lives there.”
“Oh shit, I forgot. She did something to you and you never want to see her again.”
“It’s a lot more than that.”
“You refused to tell me anything so I’m basing on suspicions.”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
“She will not tell me. If she wanted me to know, she would have told me by now.”
“So what do we do?”
“Come to my place, but with food.”
“Isn’t your boyfriend there?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, not anymore.”
“Huh? So I’m your rebound guy. I should have known something was up. This sounded too good to be true.”
“I’m sorry I tried to use you to make myself feel better.”
“I’d like to be used. I’ll be there in thirty.”
“What?”
He hang up.
I started organising thins in the living area and kitchenette as fast as I could. When I was done, I went to the bedroom put everything in place before running to the shower. I showered in two minutes then returned, dried myself and applied sweet smelling lotion. I wore a pink tank top with no bra underneath, pairing it with light blue mid-thigh shorts. I grabbed some lipstick and applied it to my lips. Since I had not washed my hair, I just sprayed it and let it fall down the sides of my face.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw a sexy vixen. The seduction of Jake Rylland had become. Whether I’d succeed or not was a story for another day. Instead of sitting around crying about loneliness, it was better to take a risk which could possibly end with good returns.
When I was looking and smelling my best, I returned to the living room, turned the TV on and started scrolling through my social media feed as I waited for Jake.
What if he played me again and didn’t turn up? I ignored that negative thought and smiled to welcome positive thoughts.