#2 Chapter 16
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CharlotteNôvelDrama.Org holds this content.
The first thing that caught my eye when I walked through the doors of Raventhorne Academy this morning was the beautiful architecture.
It looks amazing in every way. Victorian and Gothic, the main building has the striking resemblance of one of the castles in Europe.
I at least had the privilege of visiting a few when Antonio had business. Those instances were some of the rare occasions where I could get lost in my surroundings.
Raventhorne has that feel to it. I see it even more on the tour Principal Carson is giving me.
He was thoroughly impressed with my application. It was the first thing he said when he met me. I give my thanks to Cordelia again for this opportunity.
I thank her in more ways than one because this opportunity is the only thing keeping me going.
It’s been a whole week since I last saw Gabe.
I know I broke his heart.
I know I did but I had to.
I will never forgive myself for hurting him. I think though that what would be worse is not being able to forgive myself if I didn’t make certain changes to my life. That’s what I believe.
No one can tell me that it’s not better to get myself out of a situation before something happens.
No one can tell me that because only a very foolish person would be love’s fool. Years ago when Gabe and I were together I never knew just how dark our world could be. I never imagined it could be so bad and so dangerous.
Of course I’d heard things but nothing I’d heard was as bad as what happened to me and my family. I guess though that was down to Pa and who he chose to do business with.
I don’t think I could be blamed for my choice and if Gabe knew the full story I’m sure he’d understand more. I knew I hurt him though when I pointed out that he couldn’t save me.
“So what do you think of the place?” Principal Carson asks. He spreads his arms wide showing off the beautiful, beautiful grounds around us.
“I’m in love with it.” I smile.
“Good, that’s what I was hoping to hear. So it’s a definite yes from me in terms of acceptance and offer for this job, what about you? Here we value our teachers and this is the sort of school we hope you’ll stay at for a while.”
I have to try pretty darn hard to tamp down my excitement and not show how desperate I am to have something good happen to me.
“Thank you so much. I’m so grateful,” I beam at him and my smile is the one thing I can’t hold back. “I absolutely love it here and can definitely see myself staying here for a very long time. Your English Literature program is truly impressive and I’m not just saying this because you offered me the job. I mean it.”
He puts out his hand to shake mine. “Wonderful, I’m excited for you to start. If you don’t mind me saying so, I read your dissertation and thought you wrote true to Post Romanticism.”
I’m so stunned by that. I truly am. All I did was write what was in my heart. “I’m so honored. Thank you.”
“I’m hoping if you have any ideas for us up your sleeves you’ll share them. I want to get the kids here motivated for college. I know it may sound premature when you think of the younger kids here, but I think having that unique experience will leave a lasting impression on them. Like you. I can tell from the way you talk that you valued your education.”
The smile I give him now is definitely one I won’t try to hold back.
“I really did. My love for literature started with my grandmother. She loved anything by Browning. She used to read his poems to me and I got sucked in. I wanted more and most often found myself in the library trying to grab whatever I could to read.”
He likes that, he’s nodding and smiling at me. “Perfect. All I have to say is when do you want to start? We’re a month away from the start of the Easter break. You can start as soon as and get used to the place or I’m happy for you to start at the end of April.”
“I’d like to start soon. Maybe two weeks’ time.” It will give me time to move and get settled in.
“That’s perfect. Two weeks is perfect. I have all your references and everything done. I just need you to fill out your contract and payment details then we’re done with documents.”
I liked the sound of that, definitely.
“Thanks, I can’t wait to start.” I tip my head and smile at him. For the first time in forever hope fills my heart.
This is a good thing. I made the right choice and I’m making the right choice by distancing myself from everyone.
Cordelia insisted on meeting me for lunch and celebrating when I messaged her to let her know I got the job.
She was at the mall shopping and I was about an hour away so we worked out that we’d probably get to the coffeehouse at the same time.
I’m here before her though which is fine because on my way I got a call from a realtor who wanted to book an appointment with me to see some apartments.
Yesterday I’d looked at the area near Raventhorne and decided it seemed like such a pretty, peaceful place that I wouldn’t mind living there whether I got the job or not. Now I have the job it’s perfect.
It will be nice to live near the school.
I message the realtor back, agreeing to a meeting at ten o’clock tomorrow at a condo by the river.
I kind of want to get home and start going through my old stuff but this meeting with Cordelia outside the house is probably a good thing.
It will be good to talk to her away from our parents. Ma is always around the corner like she’s listening out in case I need something and Pa is just as bad.
Cordelia checks in on me too but she gives me some breathing space.
I’m not sure how she’ll react when I tell her I hope to move out by next week. This lunch could also be her way of wanting to find out what happened with Gabe. I haven’t said anything to anyone about him. I haven’t been able to talk about it. It’s hard to when I’m having trouble letting go myself.
I open my purse wider to put my phone back in and my hands graze over my diary and the little birthday box Abuelita gave me. I’ve kept them with me but haven’t been able to look inside either of them.
I’m too afraid to see what she wrote in the birthday book because I can’t imagine my grandmother seeing such a dark future for me when she wrote the little notes and not giving me the heads up. And as for the diary, I don’t want the reminder of the man I left behind.
The last entry was me prepping to lose my virginity.
I was to update it the next day and tell my diary I had done it.
I sigh and catch a glimpse of Cordelia rushing over to me with two shopping bags.
She giggles when she gets to me and sits down.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, parking was crazy,” she says releasing a ragged breath. “Then there was this weird guy who wanted to sell me chicken feet.”
I burst out laughing and it feels good. “What? That is crazy. Chicken feet.”
“Yeah, he even pulled out a bag. When I saw a petrified foot I dashed. So, that’s why I’m late, hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
I shake my head at her, recalling the bizarre stuff that used to happen to her when we were kids.
“Only you Cordelia.”
“I agree. So tell me everything. I want to hear it all.”
I start to and we order toasted sandwiches and mega mugs of hot chocolate with the trimmings on top.
I forgot how nice the food is here. The lady who owns the coffeehouse creates her own variety of hot drinks and pastries. I’m determined to have something fattening before we leave. It was the first place Cordelia took me to when I was ready to leave the house.
“Oh my God. I’m so excited for you.” Cordelia beams, rubbing her hands together. She does look excited.
That just makes it harder to tell her I won’t be around much longer.
It’s weird how we went from mortal enemies to being the sisters we used to be. It feels weird and I know she won’t be happy about it but I have to do what’s right for me.
“I’m excited too. It’s a new opportunity to do something amazing and set my life back on track.” I say that as an opening to set the stage for me to tell her what’s on my mind.
“Absolutely. It absolutely is,” she agrees.
“I can’t thank you enough for making the application. It wouldn’t have been possible without you.”
“Oh please. I just filled it all out. The qualifications and the work experience did the talking.” She flicks her wrists and flutters her lashes.
Today she really enhanced her eyes with makeup and false lashes. She’d told me her lashes didn’t grow back to the thickness they used to be before she did chemo. I notice she wears them when she’s going out and I have to admit that they give her a more lively look to compensate for her thin features.
“I’m still grateful, very grateful.”
“I’m just glad you were able to have some part of your dream. I mean college and teaching. I worried about that.”
“Well it was something to do where Antonio could keep his eyes on me.”
The lightheartedness fades from her eyes and she nods. “I can’t believe you had to live that way.”
“Me too. When I left I was determined to change things up. This job is the first step.”
“It’s good you got it. It’ll be nice to be together again.”
Okay… I have to say something now. “Actually, I’m planning on… moving as soon as I can.”
Her lips part in sheer surprise. “Oh… oh right. Of course. Really? How soon?”
“Next week if I can make it happen. I haven’t told anyone besides you. I think it’s going to be hard for Ma and Pa to hear it.”
“Sure… It’s …hard for me to hear too. Well maybe we can schedule in times to meet up. A weekly girly lunch or dinner, something like that.”
This is where it’s going to get harder. The distancing. It’s kind of what makes me think that maybe taking the job at the school might not be so good. It’s still too close. Close to everybody.
“Or… not…” She looks me over, waiting for me to answer.
What I need to do is tell her straight what’s on my mind. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I want to. I really do. I just think maybe it’s best to get myself out there and be on my own for a little while.”
She just stares at me. Her expression is similar to Gabe’s except he seemed to have more of an understanding.
She actually looks more hurt than anything though.
“Charlotte, you can’t ask me to stay away from you after ten years of being worried sick. I’m your sister and I can’t do it. You shouldn’t be alone.”
“I was alone in Italy. I was all alone. I may have been in a house filled with servants and whatever but I was by myself. This will be different. I just…” Bringing my hand up to my temple I release a strained sigh.
She straightens up like she just thought of something. “It’s us isn’t it. All of us, the family. Our lives and who we know. You want out.” She guesses right and it breaks my heart to nod my agreement.
“I love you all, but you don’t know what I went through. I went through so much I can’t even talk about it. It’s too hard and I just want to find the person I was supposed to be.”
“I see… so… Is this it then? After next week I won’t see you again?”
“No… It won’t be like that. I would never just disappear or not be in touch. I just need to do this. This part,” I explain.
“Is that… what happened with Gabe? You told him you couldn’t be with him?”
“Yeah. That’s what happened. I think I need to do this and it’s a necessity for me to move on.”
“Well … I’m here if you need me. I’m here and I understand. I don’t like it but I’m not about to not try to understand what you need to help you get past the past.” She dabs at the corner of her eyes and offers up a little smile.
“I appreciate that you understand.”
My phone buzzes in my purse, cutting off her next words. It must be the realtor confirming my appointment.
“I just have to check this message,” I tell her and reach for my phone.
I narrow my eyes when I look at the message preview. I don’t recognize the number as anyone I’ve ever contacted or who contacted me on this phone.
I open the message and start to read it and my breath hitches the minute I read the first few words.
Hope you liked your present Bellezza.
We need to celebrate properly.
Not the coffeehouse, somewhere nicer.
Keep your hair like that.
Tobias xx
I drop the phone and look around frantically.
Jesus … God… no.
Tobias Antonella. It’s him. It’s him, but where?
How did he get my number?
Cordelia rushes around to pick up the phone and hand it to me.
“Charlotte are you okay?” she asks.
I shake my head and instantly start crying.
She looks at the phone and sees the message. “Who is this?”
I can’t answer.
I can’t tell her who it is for so many reasons.
I can’t say anything. I really doubt Antonio’s killer would like me doing so.
He’s here…
He’s here in Chicago and he knows where I am.
He can see me.