Unloved: A Novel (The Undone)

I hate hospitals.

The gala was incredible, as it always is with anything Max and Anna Koteskiy throw their support behind. However, any good feeling and crowded-room high I was riding before evaporated the second Rhys found me standing by his parents, his expression stricken with clear panic, and a wide-eyed, terrified Sadie at his side.

We’d left, leaving Bennett—who was still missing—behind as we headed directly for the hospital. I couldn’t ask what happened before we arrived at the massive building, the tension in the car too great for me to say a word, especially not to beg them to let me out on the side of the highway so I didn’t have to go in with them.

My stomach is still roiling, and I’ve nearly excused myself to the bathroom to puke four times, but manage to hold it together for the kid currently seated in my lap, playing games on an iPad.

The smell of copper and antiseptic leaves me spinning out in a fog of memories I’m desperate to repress.

“Did you win your game, Matty?”

“My doctors said I might get to go to the next one.”

“I’m sorry, Matty, but I don’t think she’ll—”

I shake my head a little too hard. My knee bounces before I can stop it, eliciting a sharp little “Hey!” from Liam, who lost his streak on whatever brightly colored game he was winning.

“Sorry, bud.” I smile to hide the deep ache plaguing my every muscle, threatening to pull me under every minute longer I’m in this damn building.

My eyes track to the corner, where Rhys is still talking with a nearly inconsolable Oliver. He’d been borderline hysterical when we appeared without Sadie, screaming at the nurses not to touch him until Rhys settled his hands on the twelve-year-old’s shoulders and whispered something in his ear. Oliver’s entire body immediately slumped into my captain’s arms, fight leaving him so suddenly, nothing left but fear.

Fear that only Rhys seems to be able to calm.

It feels like another shot directly to my exposed center.

A hazier memory surfaces, still shrouded in grief, of a devastated dark-haired man and a terrified eighteen-year-old both clad in uncomfortable black clothes. Too scared to hold each other the way Rhys is holding Sadie’s brother now.

I shudder out uneven breaths, holding Liam a little tighter as he settles back against my chest.

The door clicks behind us, and before I can even turn, Liam is jumping from my lap, screaming for his sister. He elbows me as he goes, but the sight of him reunited with her is enough to distract me.

“Hey, bug.” Sadie smiles. I realize I’ve never heard her voice like that, soothing and calm in a way that reminds me of Anna Koteskiy. That reminds me of my own mother. “Did they get you all checked out?”

“He’s all right, just scratched up his elbow a bit—right, little man?” I say, ruffling Liam’s hair.

I’m softer as I gaze at her now. Maybe it’s the sick pool of memories I’m still drifting in, or the sight of her acting like a mother to her little brothers. Maybe it’s the lingering regret of the judgments I’ve made of her in the past.

“Freddy said I’m the same age he was when he started playing hockey,” Liam says. Did I? Probably when I was frantically trying to avoid any thoughts that involved the words hospital or mother or father. Hockey is my default setting.

“He says I’m gonna be even bigger than him one day.”

Now that I definitely did not say. The little menace.

“I did not.” I laugh, shoving him with my knee so he trips and starts up another round of giggles that seem more healing than anything else so far.

Oliver finally releases Rhys, looking at his sister from across the hospital boardroom. There’s an entire unspoken conversation before Rhys presses a supportive hand to Oliver’s back and walks them both across to her. He presses a kiss to her temple before greeting his mom—a discreet way of giving Oliver and Sadie a moment alone.

I look away from their little worried stare-off.noveldrama

Rhys clasps my shoulder and pulls me off toward the door.

“Hey, do you mind checking on Ro? Maybe give her a call—”

The question works like an adrenaline shot and I’m nodding and reaching for my phone before he can even finish his sentence.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck and blows out a breath. “I just… I don’t like the way I spoke to her in the moment. I’ll apologize to her after I get Sadie and the boys settled, but…”

“What did you say?”

He hands his opened phone to me, forcing me to repocket mine to see it.

RO

They weren’t there when I went to carpool—I panicked and started calling you. I went to the rink, but no one saw who they got in the car with.

RHYS

Apparently their dad picked them up & got in a wreck. Headed to the hospital now. Everyone is okay.

RO

Leaving now. I will meet you there.

RHYS

It’s fine, stay home. It’ll only stress Sadie out more than she already is. I’ll keep you updated.

There is no response to that—and I know exactly why.

Keeping my voice calm and whisper quiet, I grit out, “You had to know how she would take that, Rhys. Goddamn it.”

“I know,” Rhys sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly. They’re red, watery, like he’s been holding back tears. Like he’s been the strong captain for the entire Brown family to lean on like a crutch—but he’s barely sturdy enough for it.

But I know from experience that Rhys Koteskiy is nothing if not loyal and fiercely strong in his love. And it’s only because of that knowledge that I know he’s telling the truth—he didn’t mean anything hurtful to Ro.

“I’ll call her and take care of it,” I say before poking him hard in the chest. “But apologize now. Rosalie’s the most selfless person I know. She’s probably crying alone in her apartment over that.”

My stomach rolls.

“Rosalie?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“Fuck off,” I sigh. “I’m gonna go, but keep me updated. And take care of them.”

“I will,” he vows. “And, Freddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Sorry I told you to keep away from her. You’re a good friend and Ro seems like she needs that.”

A good friend. I smile but it hurts. “Yeah. Anytime.”