One Hundred & Twenty-One
Ally’s [POV]
“Are you Daddy’s girlfriend now?”
I stilled the backyard swing with my foot and turned toward Laurie. It was the end of a long day of children running and laughing, and occasionally crying, usually after tripping on a toy or being denied something vitally important.
Like a second hot dog. Or a Transformer. Or for one little boy, not being allowed to take home the bunny we’d seen scampering through the yard.
That led to Laurie once again asking for a puppy. Seth had said no, as he always did, but he was weakening.
Softie.
I smiled and stopped fingering the ends of Laurie’s curls long enough to remember her question. Not the best time to zone out and think about Seth and floppy-eared puppies.
A glance at the back door told me Seth still wasn’t on his way back outside. He was probably eating a scoop of ice cream for everyone he put in our bowls. We’d had cake earlier, of course, but the man had a sweet tooth for days.
Not that I could talk. I was starving. Again.
And I still hadn’t answered Laurie’s question.
“I’m still exactly what I always was to him, and you.”
I pushed off with my foot and the swing kicked into motion again. “Unless you don’t like what you saw today,” I said carefully, hoping I was just referring to that aborted kiss she’d witnessed outside the bathroom.
It certainly hadn’t been the only incident of kissing or touching today. Seth couldn’t keep his hands off me for long. I wasn’t much better, especially when Tina sashayed past, her attention still far too focused on him. I’d had a lot of years of toning down my jealousy where Seth was concerned, but sleeping with him must’ve toggled off that switch because I’d found myself cleaving to his side more than once. Maybe it was the way he smiled down at me or brushed his hand over my hair or whispered something for my ears only. He’d always treated me as if I were special, and now that we were sleeping together, his attention was even more potent.
Even more dangerous.
Laurie fluffed out her sparkly purple skirt, her forehead wrinkled. I had a feeling she had something she wanted to say but maybe didn’t know how.
I understood far too well because I did too. Ever since Mr. Hamilton had put that stuff in my head about driving away Marjorie, I’d been full of guilt. I tried to dismiss it as just his way of getting me out of his son’s hair and his bed. But maybe there was a kernel of truth.
“Honey, I hope you understand I’m not trying to take your mother’s place. I wouldn’t do that. You have your Daddy, and he loves you so much, and I love you too, but”
“But not like my mom.” Her chin wobbled and I shifted toward her, my chest tightening until I couldn’t breathe.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant at all. I just meant I would never try to take her spot, to try to pretend I’m your mom, even though I’d like nothing better.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat and reached for her small, chubby, popsicle-stained hand, squeezing it tightly. “Being your mom would have to be the best thing in the world.”
She stared hard at me, that wrinkle deepening and reminding me so much of Seth. “Then why can’t you?”
Such a simple question, with such hard answers. The last thing I wanted to do was to give her false hope that her mom might come back into her life. From what I understood, that wasn’t going to happen. I also didn’t want to indicate I could fill that role. I didn’t know how to be a parent, which probably made this whole situation that much crazier. I so didn’t feel equipped to take care of anyone. Not even myself sometimes. After years of caring for my mother, my reserves were low. I wasn’t sure I could provide for anyone else.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
If we had a baby together, I’d be in that caretaking role all over again in a much more formal role than what I had now with Laurie. Did I want that?
Even as I asked the question, the answer came through loud and clear.
Yes.
Yes, I wanted a baby. I always had, though I wasn’t sure it would ever be in the cards for me. Rarely dating tended to limit one’s chances of finding someone.
Someone else anyway.
I’d found my someone early, and he’d found others while I waited. And that’s exactly what I’d done. Waited for years for a bus that might’ve never stopped for me.
Before I’d found more with Seth stumbled into via idiotic baby contract I’d found a strong, pure love for his little girl. One that would never go away.
“I will always be here for you, no matter what,” I whispered, making her a promise in my head. My heart. Whatever happened with Seth, Laurie would always have me in her life. “I might not be your biological mom, but I love you just as much.” I stroked a hand down her hair. “So if there’s ever anything that bothers you, or you want to talk about, I’m here. Okay?”
Laurie didn’t say anything for a long time. Then she hurtled herself into my arms, clinging tight. Just when I was sure she’d move back and run across the lawn, she glanced up at me. “Can you marry my Daddy?”
Panic wrapped around my throat and squeezed. “Um.”
Laurie nodded enthusiastically. “I could wear this.” She pulled at her skirts, her smile wide. “Please?”
It sounded sweet, and my heart broke a little that she wanted that.
She wasn’t the only one.
“Maybe someday,” I murmured, hoping like hell I wasn’t cursing the situation just by saying that much. In my world, wishing for more got you less. It was so much easier not to hope.
Or dream.
The back door opened and Oliver and Seth stepped outside, carting bowls of ice cream. They were so different despite looking alike. Oliver’s hair was shorter and straighter, cropped close to his head. Seth’s tended to get shaggy when he wasn’t paying attention. Seth had scruff, and Oliver was militantly clean-shaven. Seth wore jeans and a raggedy T-shirt, and Oliver had on a dark suit sans tie, his idea of casual wear.
I was pretty sure every single woman in town and some not spent a good chunk of their time trying to figure out how to land one of them. Some industrious types might’ve imagined snagging both for a night or three of fun. Not that they did stuff like that, at least that I knew about. And I would have because Seth had never been quiet about his hookups.
Killing me a little with every damn one.
“Who wants ice cream?” Seth called, rushing down the steps with Oliver at his heels.
Oliver hadn’t said a word about what he’d witnessed before the party. I’d expected him to make some snarky remark about the kiss, but he’d just slanted me a knowing smile now and then as if he were sharing some private joke. I’d expected more surprise from him to be honest. Unless maybe others had seen something between me and Seth I never had.
Mainly because I’d been so afraid to wish. Wanting was bad enough.
“Me, me, me! I want ice cream,” Laurie said, pitching sideways off my lap and nearly tumbling to the ground. I caught her just before she went flying, and Seth shot me a panty-wetting grin.
“Nice save, Lawrence.” He sat on the other side of the swing and held out a small bowl of ice cream for his daughter. “Neapolitan for Princess Laurie,” he said formally, making her giggle as she settled between us and dug in with her spoon.
“Why isn’t this cozy,” Oliver said, passing Seth the bowl of ice cream he carried after Seth gave me his.
“Isn’t it?” Seth returned before I could reply. “Don’t you have the stuff to do at home?”
I gasped. “Seth, don’t be rude.”
“He wants some alone time with his ladies.” Oliver winked at Laurie. “Especially Princess Laurie, who was the most beautiful girl at the party.”
Laurie giggled and fumbled with her spoon, getting more of the ice cream on her face than in her mouth. I immediately turned to help her and looked up to catch Seth watching me far too closely.
“Okay, I’m outta here.” Oliver leaned forward to brush a kiss over Laurie’s head. “See ya, squirt. Sleepover on Friday night?”
“Yes!”
“Great. Bet your Daddy will enjoy his sleepover too,” he said out of the side of his mouth when Laurie went back to attacking her rapidly melting ice cream.
Seth flipped his brother a discreet cheek middle finger, and Oliver backed away, laughing. “Goodbye, Alison.”
I was flushing, I just knew it, so I decided to just wave a few fingers while I shoveled in ice cream.